Stuck in Reverse.

I have so many things i want and need to do but here i am everyday lying on my bed tumblring, watching and re-watching idol dramas and movies, growing fat. There’re too many reasons for me to be pissed at myself. I want to exercise, bake, take lots of photos and edit them. But blah blah here I am typing.

Yesterday was School of Design & Environment (SDE) admission day. Surprised to see a large majority of girls in the Architecture/Industrial Design lecture theater. The number of guys present could be counted with your fingers.

My ID friend Li May and I signed up for 2 camps and Rag & Flag Day! I am excited. I actually want to dance. Come on, the last time i danced was probably in secondary 4 at a Guides Campfire. I terribly miss the times we stayed back extremely late rehearsing, I miss the fun one can derive from dancing, even though I’m not one bit good at it. Plus the fact that I’ve grown so much bigger in size since Sec4, makes it so much harder to dance cause I’ll be so slow with my movements and all tangled up in my own limbs. But nonetheless if you’ve never had fun dancing in your life, you’re missing out. Cause there is an indescribable joy in flinging your arms and legs to the rhythm of music.

The first time I ever took dancing was probably in Primary 4 for a talent time competition. OMG we actually danced to Avril Lavigne’s Sk8ter Boy!!! Though it was a really silly dance but haha! I had so much fun:)

Then there was the ACSBR gangshow dance which was probably the most memorable dance in my life. I have a video of it but IDK where the hell it is now that I’ve changed laptops too many times. It was the dance which brought my friends and I closer to each other than we ever were before. That fateful night this random scout came up to me with a pink paper crane and said “This is for you”, and all my girl friends went “OMG!!” Can you believe it? Sometimes life actually is like a drama. And it felt so good to be the main character for once. So… surreal. But the scout was just another face in a crowd who vanished too quickly. And in the search for him, she had fallen for someone else. 

Blah I’m not going to continue ranting about my old love story. Back to admission day. Even though I’m kinda excited and all, I’m also super afraid that I won’t be able to make friends. I’m afraid that others wouldn’t like me. OK I’M ALWAYS AFRAID cause I lack self-confidence but… I really hope Uni life will be smooth going. I wish I’ll have a friend close enough to bring to my hostel room and chat all night with. Or a friend who’ll work with me till late in the studio and we’ll we working and chatting through the night. Oh god please let me find someone like this:)

Well other than all the activities lined up for me, Architecture seems to be an extremely taxing course. I’m extremely afraid that I wouldn’t be creative enough. Or I’m scared of facing rejection for my ideas and stuff. I just hope I’ll get used to all of it soon. And I was kinda shocked to hear that in Architecture we don’t actually get to work a lot with colours. To me, colour makes so much difference. Colours can convey so many different things. I’m just afraid that my ideas will be degraded because of the lack of colours… haha but i should’ve known that architecture is more about structures and stuff…

That’s about all for my once in a blue moon text post. tata